Showing posts with label Pun Intended. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pun Intended. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Wacky Haiku Wednesday III


Let's keep going with our adventures in code-switching!
 
Any idea what a cross between Portuguese & English is called?  Portuglish?  Engliguese?

Either way, we are sailing right along.
 
Destination: Port Eng
 
 
Image found here.
 
 By the way, for those of you who are averse to puns, feel free to penalize me with a noogie per pun, in case we meet in person one day. ;) There. Now I'm guilt free.

Weigh anchor, shipmates. We're off!


Que divertido!
(...a fun, but renegade path,
eu concordo.)

 

"Que divertido!"  =  "What fun!" ... or   "How fun!"
  • Que [pronounced: "key"] means what.
  • divertido [pronounced: "jee-vehr-chee-doh"] means fun.

"Eu concordo." = "I agree."
  • Eu [pronounced: "ay-yo"] means I.
  • concordo [pronounced: "cone/cohn-core-doh"] means agree.
 
I hope ye enjoyed this trip on th' high seas o' fun, tho we did come a wee close t' crackin' up on th' shores o' insanity. `Tis all in good fun, tho, an' I wager that we be sailin' straight enough t' eliminate any learnin' curve.
 
Can you tell I missed out on International Talk Like a Pirate Day this year? Ye nay be sure ye signed up fer this, arrrr ye? Don`t ye worry. Me inner searfarin' hearty only surfaces but a few times a voyage. [That'd be a year for you landlubbers.]
 
 Until the next one, mateys...

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Wacky Haiku Wednesdays

Oh, and by wacky, I mean code-switching.

I know... I'm breaking all the rules.

I can't help it.

I'm coming into my own, or coming right along in Portuguese, I guess. One of the things that I missed most when I was learning to speak Portuguese, is that I couldn't joke around or play on words (you know by now that I love a good pun), and conversations felt so empty to me. I felt like my personality couldn't come through.

The more Portuguese I've learned, I feel that I've been able to reclaim a little fun in my day-to-day interactions with people. I love that I'm able to joke around more, and do my favorite thing of all: play around with the meanings and sounds of words.

It didn't work right off the bat, of course. At first, people thought that the crazy foreign chick was reeeally missing the mark in vocabulary. Heh-heh... Now they know that I'm just one of those dorky people who do that kinda thing.



At least, now that I'm pretty well understood, it's more obvious when I am making a joke ...or trying to. Then again, as I may have mentioned before, jokes don't always translate culture to culture. But hey, those closest to me have always said that I pun-ish myself too hard in this area.


A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

~ Doug Larson

A lurking pun is the worst pun, one the offender has been waiting to spring on you.
~ Harry Mahtar

Another result of being more fluent in Portuguese, is that now there is no rhyme nor reason as to how a conversation may play out at home with my husband. Sometimes we start a conversation in [pick a language: Portuguese or English], and finish in the other. Sometimes he responds in Portuguese while I reply in English. Then we do the every other sentence thing... or the most interesting: 95% of the sentence in one language, while emphasizing a few key words in the other. That is code-switching.

This is pretty normal for anyone who lives or grows up in a bilingual atmosphere, and is commonly seen in my home state of Texas, in varying degrees. It is most noticeable in "The Valley," or southernmost part of the state.

It is also something that is generally frowned upon by foreign language teachers. However, I want my family back home to learn a little Portuguese, as well as share in the newfound fun that I'm having with both languages. Hence, Wacky Haiku Wednesday was born.


Image via Microsoft Office Clip Art home page
I'll write a pretty bad haiku using a bit of English & Portuguese, and give you the definitions & pronunciations of the Portuguese words you didn't know before.

Here goes...

Ainda não sei...
I haven't tried this before.
New way to learn, hein?


"Ainda não sei." = "I still don't know."
  • Ainda [pronounced: "I-yeen-duh"] means still.

  • não [pronounced: (nasally) "now/oh"] means no, not, don't.

  • sei [pronounced: "say"] means I know.


"Hein" = "Huh" or "Eh"
  • hein [pronounced: "hey-n" or "ay-n"]


Monday, May 28, 2012

Allergies Abroad

It's thrilling to travel to new places, try new foods, and experience other cultures. Where the food is concerned, it can either be an exhilarating experience or excruciating, depending on your personal taste...

sense of adventure...

...and allergies.

One aspect of going to another country that should be taken into consideration is that you've had X number of years to figure out if you have any allergies in your native environment, and if so, how severe they may be.

Of course, several of my 30-something friends back home are only now discovering allergies like wheat and gluten, so I guess you never really know. Just consider that as a part of the adventure when traveling.

Oooh! Perhaps this leafy thing will close my throat.

Bets?


I honestly didn't have too many allergies back home in Texas. Mold has always been my nemesis, but as far as food went there were only three things that I was sensitive to, and two of those were man-made "flavors" (liquid smoke & "raspberry" flavoring) so it wasn't too hard to avoid them. I thought that I could eat pretty much anything. I was, by all accounts, immune to the dreaded, seasonal "Cedar Fever" (that everyone else seemed to suffer from) in Central Texas.

When I moved to Brazil, my whole world was turned upside down. (Wonderland, or o país das maravilhas, will do that to you.) I was perpetually ill for the first 9 months. After the 6-month mark, I determined to track down the culprits, and discovered that I am allergic to blooming (no, I'm not using an Aussie expletive) Mango trees, and a family of peppers that is used in almost every dish in this state (which also happens to be quite tasty).

What?!

I come from the land of peppers.

I bleed Chipotle sauce.

I'm that person that orders jalapeño slices on my Whataburger, and jalapeños on the side when I get a pizza, so that I can stack up a bunch on each slice. (Mmmm... Yummy!) I like my Phở [pronounced: "fuh," and said with a hint of a question mark] with a good blast of Sriracha sauce, and take my salsa hot or medium, not mild.

What I've learned is that in Texas, we mainly eat the Capsicum annuum and Capsicum frutescens families of peppers. Here in Goiás, the most common families of peppers are the Capsicum chinense and the Capsicum baccatum. It truly is a shame that I cannot partake.

Interestingly enough, the Capsicum chinense family includes one that I ate back home with no problem. The Habanero is one (which any Texan is familiar with) of many varieties of this family. As is my lot in life, in this particular region, it is actually hard to find a Habanero. C'est la vie!

Habanero closeup by Ryan Bushby (HighInBC on wikipedia)


The most common peppers, or pimentas [pronounced: "Pih-men-tuh," and not to be confused with Pimentos] in this region are the following:
  1. The "Pimenta-de-Cheiro" [directly translates to, "The Pepper That Smells," and is pronounced: "jee Shay-rdoh"] is, hands down, the most popular Capsicum chinense pepper in this region. It looks similar to a banana pepper, has a very strong smell and flavor, but no heat to speak of.


  2. Pimenta-de-cheiro
    photo found amid a great collection of Brazilian sights on Flickr

  3. The "Pimenta-de-Bode" ["The Goat Pepper"] is another pepper in the C. chinense family that not only has a strong smell and flavor, but adds a little kick to the cuisine. I haven't been able to find out why exactly the Pimenta-de-Bode [pronounced: "jee Boh-jee"] is referring to a goat.

    Think that would be an easy one, huh? Is it from the shape of the pepper? Does it, at any point in its stages of growth, resemble two little horns? Do goats like to eat these particular peppers? Does one need the digestive system of a goat to survive the experience? Will it 'put hair on your 'chin'? If I ever find out, you'll be the first to know.


  4. Pimenta-de-Bode
    by Adilson Lopes Garcia
    via Flickr

  5. The "Pimenta-Chora-Menino" [pronounced: "Shore-rduh Meh-nee-no," and roughly translates to, "The 'Cry, Boy, Cry' Pepper" or "The 'Makes-All-The-Boys-Cry' Pepper" ...There's no direct translation.) is hot — but it's sneaky. The heat from this little pepper of the C. chinense family ambushes you only after you've committed to ingesting it.

  6. Pimenta-Chora-Menino
    source

  7. The Pimenta Biquinho [pronounced: "bee-keen-yo"] aka Pimenta de Bico (or "Beaker," as I like to call it) is another pepper in the C. chinense family that has become quite popular here. There are two types: one that has no heat, whatsoever, and another that can be a little spicy. It is actually from another region in the Americas, but was bred to flourish in this soil, which it has. These "beak peppers" are the new rage in Brazilian culinary circles.


  8. Pimenta-Biquinho
    source

  9. The "Pimenta-de-Cumari" [pronounced: "Coo-mah-rdee"] is a small, bright, yellow pepper of the Capsicum baccatum family that has a very strong smell, as well as a bit of a kick to it. The word Cumari comes from the native Tupí language, and means "pleasurable taste."


  10. Pimenta-de-Cumari
    source

  11. The "Pimenta-Dedo-de-Moça" [pronounced: "Deh-doh jee Mose-uh" and translates to, "The Lady's Finger"] is another pepper from the C. baccatum family that is about 4-5 inches long, and more mild than most, with a delicious flavor. They are most often seen preserved, but are used under the name calabresa when dried. This is not to be confused with the "Crushed Red Pepper" flakes that are known as "calabresa" in Europe and the United States, according to Portuguese page of wikipedia on C. baccatum peppers.


  12. Pimenta-Dedo-de-Moça
    by Mats Pettersson via Imageshack

Unfortunately for me, the "Americana alérgica," (allergic American woman) I'm allergic to the first five, and they are a part of everyday cuisine here in Goiás. They are added to almost everything! People in this region add these peppers to most dishes, including white rice. The most popular version of rice incorporates pimenta-de-cheiro with garlic.

Snack bars, or lanchonetes, usually have an assortment of snacks (all chock-full of pimenta-de-cheiro) that I now know I cannot eat, aside from a pizza slice or "misto" (grilled sandwich made with a slice of cheese, ham, and possibly a slice of tomato).

There have been some restaurants that actually refused to serve a dish without pimenta-de-cheiro because it is their signature style. In this case, I have a granola bar on standby, and only order a drink. It's been quite an adjustment. To compound the issue, allergies are seen a bit differently here, than back in The States. More on that soon!

If you are one of the fortunate ones who isn't allergic to these peppers, you'll be on a hot, spicy, and/or flavorful cloud nine. If not, bring an extra granola bar. Saúde! (Cheers!)

Stick an EpiPen in me — I'm done.


Friday, May 11, 2012

Hair Today - Blonde Tomorrow

Most Americans have the misperception that Brazilian women are hair-free, waxen [I'm taking the liberty of using the 2c definition: "lustrously smooth"] females whose skin glistens in the the tropical sunlight.

Where do we get this idea? This erroneous assumption is derived from what we see advertised in salons across the U.S. that offer, "The Brazilian," a type of waxing session that takes it all off. Then again, the recent Nair 'Brazilian Beauty Challenge' campaign isn't helping, either: "São Paulo style. Rio de Janeiro smooth."

In actuality the truth is much hairier - like Harry and The Hendersons hairier. Yeah, I'm talking yetis.

Yeti used with the permission of Corey Smith.
Check out his illustrations. They are awesome.

A lot of you are already shaking your head in disbelief. Sorry, guys, if I burst your bubble... but I'm about to take away the wand, as well.



The truth about body hair is always seen clearly beachside or poolside. The first time I saw this phenomenon, I was at the fitness/water/country club. I was there tanning, minding my own business, when I saw two girls next to me start slathering on a white paste. I wondered what sort of tropical beauty secret it must be.

I asked them about it & they said, "Oh, it's peroxide. Would you like some?"

I then wondered what sort of skin ailment they must suffer from.

"What is it for, exactly?" I queried.

They laughed and said it was for their body hair - to bleach it. Then I noticed just how many girls around the club were doing this very thing. I thought back to the Brazilian beaches I'd visited, and vaguely remembered seeing the same ritual. Huh.


After covering their bodies, they stood in the sun, soaking up the rays until one said she couldn't stand it anymore. At the time, I assumed she meant the heat on the pavement (being barefoot, and all) but later, in my first and only attempt at trying it out, I found out why. It itches like nothin' else.

The only reason I even tried the bleaching thing, is because it's a cheaper alternative to waxing my entire body, and the real reason being that my man urged me to try it out. (These were the days where I was doing everything the Brazilian way. You know, when in Rome...)

The most popular body hair solutions in Brazil are waxing (there are actually 2 different kinds of waxing procedures) and bleaching [full-length body hair]. Veet's (formerly known as Neet) foray into the Brazilian body hair solution arena has added the option of hair removal cream, but the most popular choices are still bleaching or waxing.

What about shaving? Well, that's almost unheard of for a female [insert look of horror!]. There are limited options as far as disposable razors go, and the refills for a regular razor are super expensive here. My husband and I stock up whenever we go back home, because yes, I have returned to my roots - er, let my leg hair keep its roots - and have gone back to shaving.

Aside from old wives' tales, the idea of a woman shaving is about as foreign as it gets. I receive looks ranging from horror, pity, suspicion, and wonder when I let it slip that I still choose to shave my legs. I do wax my arms, however, as that has always been a dream of mine.

So, what about yetis? They exist.

They must, because they have a cult-like following by a good portion of the females in Brazil. Some of the women I know here look like they have blond [blinding white, in the sun] fur leg warmers on, simply due to the amount of hair they have that they've decided to bleach. It's an interesting look, though not one that is my personal preference.


While I'm not against bleaching hair, as a personal choice, I believe that the amount of hair one has should factor into that decision. Some women are blessed with barely-there hair. They are perfect candidates for this option. Other women whose body hair rivals that of Cousin Itt should reconsider.

As Americans, we are raised to think that arms, legs, and tummies are to be hair-free. I remember the trauma of not being allowed to shave in the fourth grade, when I discovered that I was a little hairy monster of a girl that belonged on the island with The Wild Things. In fifth grade, I decided I would take my chances with my mom finding out, and proceeded to shave my legs. I quickly found out what a challenge it is to navigate around the Achilles Tendon.

I also remember my disappointment in junior high, when one of my teammates brought over her Epilady after school one day. I was sure that I would finally have flawless arms. Five tearful minutes later, and only 1 square centimeter into the job, I realized that it wasn't meant to be. My friend, on the other hand, must have been born without nerve endings, because she was able to do her whole body like it was nothing.

Imagine my delight when I discovered that waxing is a great solution for my arms. Surprisingly enough, I've been questioned by countless women here on why exactly I don't choose to bleach it, instead. Like all other options, it really is up to the individual. I've discovered that my legs are too sensitive for waxing, whereas my arms feel nothing. Who's the one without nerve endings, now?

Here in Brazil an "alergia" [pronounced: "ah-ler-zhee-uh"] is what people say when you don't like, or have an aversion to something. (...which is why they don't take my true allergies seriously...) I'm secretly glad that I'm "allergic" to that mix of peroxide. It's so horrible that it made me want to peel my skin off. My humble opinion is that peroxide has no business being in direct contact with skin, unless it's the bubbly kind that helps to treat wounds - but that's just me.


So now you know the not-so-naked-and-probably-hairier-than-you-ever-imagined truth on Brazilian Beauty Care for Body Hair.


Unless otherwise noted, all pics found on Google Images.