Happy Holiday!

Today is May 24th, which here in Goiânia is the day of "Nossa Senhora Auxiliadora," ["Mary Help of Christians"] the patron saint of Goiânia (which also happens to be the co-patron saint of Bagé and Niterói). This day is also referred to as, "another day off," by those who aren't quite sure what this day is about.


One of the cool things about living in Brazil is that there is always a holiday around the corner - or there was one just last week. If it's not a national holiday, it's a municipal holiday. Being a "predominately Catholic" country opens the door for even more "religious" holidays.

While Brazil boasts the largest number of Catholics in the world, Brazil also has the largest number of "lapsed Catholics" in the world. Of the Brazilian population, 68.4% are self-declared Catholics, yet only 20% of that cross section of the population attend Mass or participate in religious activities.

Some sociologists of religion contend that Catholicism in Brazil is more of a tradition, than a true practice of religion. The most commonly seen traditions are infant baptisms, appointed godparents, traditional church weddings, the use of religious necklaces (and/or other paraphernalia such as ornamental car accessories, etc.) and the ever popular act of crossing oneself (which you must have seen if you've ever watched a soccer game).

Although quite a few of these religious holidays translate into a day off (or two, if it falls on a Thursday) there are few who actually use that time for religious purposes. The majority of the population use the time off to party late into the night, travel, bar-b-que, or just catch up on R&R.


In my case, I used the time to surf the internet reading up on just why exactly it is that I have the day off, and looking for images of the perfect party cake. (Isn't the one below completely awesome? It seems like the ideal Unbirthday cake.)

Am I a big nerd? Do I not have a social life? Probably. But you see, I generally have to ask an average of 10+ people what the significance of a holiday is, and even if they do know the name, they might not be clear on the actual significance. I always feel a bit like I'm Jaywalking, and eventually somewhat like KiKi when she asks Bib,

"But what does it mean?"

And now we know. I dedicate my extra day off to you, the reader. No one will ever have to lose another May 24th in Goiânia, on research. As a reward, tomorrow I shall actually go out and do something.

All pics found on Google Images.

Five Facts For Foreigners - Vol. V

Just when I think I've listed all the insider's tips I can, I realize that on the contrary, it's just the tip of the iceberg. Here's the beef on Brazilian Bar-B-Que...

1. When I said there are no finger foods in Brazil, I forgot about traditional Bar-B-Que gatherings at home, or on the range (camping)... Perhaps what I should have said is that it's the reverse. Just think of everyday as "Opposite Day.” (That used to help me.) For example, where we would eat potato wedges with our fingers, here cuts of sirloin are sliced into bite-sized strips, and then passed around for you to grab one of them. For a place where finger foods are generally frowned upon, this took me aback quite a bit - especially since it's something we would probably frown on back home. Ha-ha! The quirkiness of cultural differences never fails to make me chuckle.



2. Another interesting point in this ritual that may seem quite different than what we are accustomed to, is that they aren't "passing the plate," as we know it. Everyone takes a turn serving the group, making the rounds like a waiter. If you haven't seen anyone else do it, don't worry: they're not putting you to work. That would just be awkward. Someone else will soon take their turn and bring by a fresh plate of sliced meat. At first I thought it's a regional thing, but I am told this is a common practice all over Brazil.
   



3. Just as you will have your turn(s) at playing waiter, you will also learn how to divvy up the meat the appropriate way. Picanha (Top Sirloin) is the hands-down favorite. Just don't make the mistake of cutting off the little piece of fat on the end because that is a major faux pas. Whoops... It is normally eaten along with the rest of the slice of meat. I personally nibble off the meat, and leave the little fatty stubs for the nearest dog or cat. :)
   
   

   Original image found here.



4. The menu for a traditional cook out or Bar-B-Que goes something along the lines of Beef, Chicken (hearts, thighs or legs), Pork or Chicken Sausage, and [sometimes] Goat that is served with white (garlicky) rice, beans, collard greens (made one of three popular ways), Vinagrete (similar to Pico de Gallo, with bell pepper substituted for the hot pepper) and Mandioca (Yucca Root) that has been cooked in a pressure cooker to a soft, steaming consistency.
   
   
   

   Image provided by Strayed from the Table.

   Accompanying most meals is a side of farinha or crunchy miniscule crumbs of toasted mandioca that some foreigners refer to as "sand." It can take some getting used to. Eating a pile of tiny dried crumbs atop any food, without getting any in your windpipe, is an acquired skill. I actually did inhale sand once on the playground, so I can attest to the similarity. (Exactly how this occurred is still a traumatic burning question of the past.) Moving on...



5. There is no Bar-B-Que sauce. Brazilian Bar-B-Que is seasoned with limejuice, salt & pepper or Rock Salt. If you are going to use limejuice, salt & pepper then you may want to marinate it for a few hours. If you go the rock salt route, then there is no need to marinate it - it will be too salty. The rock salt melts, as the meat is seared on the grill. Just watch out for any rogue pieces of rock salt that fall off into the fire. They explode & can become small, sizzling missiles that could potentially burn your skin and/or clothing.
   
   

   Image provided by Zack.

   If you must have some Bar-B-Que sauce with your Bar-B-Que then you might want to try one of the larger supermarkets that may have some imported BBQ sauce... or contact me. I know a certain Texas guy in Goiânia that makes the best Bar-B-Que sauce this side of the equator. (The other side, too!)

Coming Soon: The Gnarly Nature of Newscasts

Unless otherwise noted, all images found via Google Images.

Five Facts For Foreigners - Vol. III

Party Etiquette...

Party fouls are awkward. Miss Manners didn't have this playbook, that's for sure. Here are a few moves that might score you some points.

1. The protocol for arriving at and departing from a party is to personally greet and/or introduce yourself to all of the other guests. If you are going to a big party, and are an introvert like myself, you might want to arrive early so you only have to make the rounds once.
   
   I always feel a bit like a campaigning politician, as this is something [way] out of my personal comfort zone. If on the other hand, like Pink, you enjoy letting people know that you've officially arrived, and "now we are going to get this party started," then this is right up your alley. Same goes for the end of the party…
   
   Announcer: "Elvis has left the building."



2. Be it a restaurant or Bar-B-Que setting where everyone is seated at a long table of about 30 or more, you may find yourself in conversation with someone across the table or to your immediate left or right. Perhaps the person in the opposite direction is not interested in holding a conversation with you, but that’s not a problem as someone else is… right?
   
   As you can imagine, 30+ people will raise the volume a notch. This might prompt you to automatically lean into the engaging conversation you have found, which can result in a (previously-unknown-to-you) party foul. You absolutely may not turn in such a way as to cause someone else to have to look at your back – even if they could care less if you talk with them, or not. The back is bad.
   
   Note: I’m not talking about doing this for the entirety of the party. Even thirty seconds is frowned upon, and you may receive a “helpful” nudge on your shoulder, to get you properly aligned.
   
   People will also feel obliged to apologize to you if seating arrangements at, say, a cookout are such that they will be “giving you their back.” If you speak little to no Portuguese, this can seem to be a lot of ado over nothing.
   
   I have asked if this is such a big deal, why there aren’t more round tables circa King Arthur, but no one seems to think that is funny. (Except me, of course.) On the upside, I have perfected the art of amusing myself.




3. Children’s parties are fancier than in the U.S. - be sure you dress to the nines. Forget any children’s parties you may have seen in movies or real life, back home. Women, wear high heels & lots o’ bling. Think: New Year’s or Wedding party. Guys, clean up reeeeal good.



Image found here.


4. When people sing the Happy Birthday song, they clap loudly… More often than not, the entire restaurant will join in. Sometimes there are 5 birthday parties in the same restaurant, at the same time.
   
   While it can be fun enjoying the cultural differences in festivities and hearing the roar of 200+ people getting into it, it’s best not to lead. Feel free to join in, once you’re sure that your table is participating.




5. If you are attending a party with lots of balloons, be aware that if you stay until the end, there is a debatably thoughtful measure taken to make sure you are not too tired for the trip home. At least, that's what I’m guessing...
   
   Parties are generally done up right with bunches of balloons cascading around doorways and other areas of interest. Somewhere, at some point, some adult got creative in utilizing the help of the kids to pick up the party. They hand the most rambunctious children knives, forks, toothpicks or other pointy objects, and watch as they lay into the piles of balloons.
   
   If this is your first rodeo, it may cause you to spill whatever drink or plate of clothes-staining food you may be holding... raise up from your chair about 6 inches, inadvertently knocking someone else's drink or plate out of their hands... or even result in an accidental headbutt if you happen to be hugging someone on your way out, if no one has shown you the ropes. So there ya go. Warn anyone with a heart condition.

Missing a beat with these cultural protocols is a flashing neon sign that can inadvertently start you out on the wrong foot. Stick to these tips and you will not only blend seamlessly into the crowd, but you might also appear to be a natural – which is not only worth 10 cool points, but is priceless in the saving face dept.

All images found on Google.

Five Facts For Foreigners - Vol. II

Some additional pointers to keep you from being pointed out [or at]...

1. If you happen to be here for Christmas, be sure to get your beauty sleep during the two days & nights prior to Christmas Eve. The traditional Christmas “dinner” is served at midnight on Christmas Eve, with partying and games to follow...
   
   
   It's something along the lines of Thanksgiving Dinner + Christmas Office Party (White Elephant Gift Exchange) + Rockin' New Year’s Eve + any or all of the following: Karaoke, Bingo, Card Games, Dancing, Masquerades, More Eating... That's a general idea of the itinerary, but you never know what Papai Noel (Santa Claus) has up his sleeve.
   
   edit: I forgot about the fireworks... lots of fireworks!



2. When in Brazil, do yourself a favor and avoid our "A-Okay" gesture. (You know, the one that is completely innocuous in The States.) If inverted, it is worse than giving someone the middle finger... However, any semblance of this gesture may be frowned upon, so it's best to resort to the good ol' “thumbs up” which is used here for cool, great, thanks, good, super, go ahead, you rock, sure, okay, may I, etc.




3. United States citizens: [Americans] don't try to explain why our nationality isn't "North American". (...or why Greenlanders, Canadians, Mexicans, Belizeans, Costa Ricans, Salvadorans, Guatemalans, Hondurans, Nicaraguans, and Panamanians are all North Americans, too.)
   
   It's not that the geography classes are different here, it's that someone surmised at some point that United States citizens are pretentious elitists by laying claim to the term American, since there are 2 Americas: North & South...
   
   In actuality it is a political statement. What exactly that statement is alluding to remains to be seen. It's best just to refer to your state, to avoid unnecessary static... For example, I tell people I’m "Texan" (or "Tejana") – as opposed to saying American – because we could 'discuss' the finer points of geopolitical nonsense for hours on end, but who wants to do that on vacation, or otherwise?



4. "Bife" (pronounced "Bee-fee") does not mean "Beef," although it runs in the same circles. There is "Bife de..." Pork or whatever cut of Beef you desire. However, bovines are divided differently than in The States, so you might want some clarification from a local before you order.




What is Bife? It means "filet," although "filé" is only used with chicken ("filé de frango"), beef ("contra-filé" or "filé mignon") and fish (filé de merluza [Hake fish filet]) - and according to my hubby, never pork. Even though I know the name of certain cuts, I can still get it wrong on occasion.

For example, the other day I got the Bife de Lombo. "Lombo" is the cut of meat along the top of the pig's back. There is also a "Contra-filé de Lombão" (a cut of beef sirloin) but it got all muddled in my little brain. I momentarily forgot that "bife" does not equal "beef." Needless to say, not knowing if something is beef or pork can be the deciding factor in a recipe breaker. Oops.


5. Women: Here in Goiânia, the capital city of Goiás, there is no such thing as too much bling – be it at work, school, or out and about. Coming from the hippie capital city of Austin, Texas, it was quite a culture shock for me. (You Dallas ladies may fare better.)
   
   
   Dress like Morrissey meets Madonna: Everyday is Like Vogue, Vogue, Vogue, Vogue...

Next up: 5 Festa (Party) Facts For Foreigners

All images found on Google.

Cultural Quirks and Perks - Vol. I

Figuring out what makes a culture tick can be tough. It is more than likely you will inadvertently offend people on a regular basis, until you are able to get in the groove of things. Likewise, you might find yourself offended if unaware of regional protocols. This is part of the growing experience. Try to be flexible - it will be less painful.


Then again, you might just find yourself laughing until you can't breathe... perhaps in the sorting of mixed signals, or at something as simple as a refreshingly realistic, but different, approach to things.


One such example is the name for what we know as "Party Blowers" in American English. In Brazil, they are known by the name: "língua-de-sogra" (pronounced "leen-goo-uh... jee... s-oh-gruh") or "Tongue of the Mother-in-Law".


Ingenious! It's both fun and educational. At least kids know what they will be getting into, at some point in the future.

The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.

~ William Arthur Ward

All images found on Google