Fastest Way to Learn Brazilian Portuguese

Image found here.

Here are 5 steps to put you on the fast track to speaking Brazilian Portuguese.

• Step 1: Learn the alphabet and sounds of the language.
• Step 2: Learn vocabulary and basic phrases.
• Step 3: Learn one past, two present, and one future form of the 17 different forms of verbs.
  Hint: Go for the simple forms. They aren't called simple for nothing.
• Step 4: Get a Brazilian Portuguese dictionary that shows the stressed syllable in the pronunciation of a word.
• Step 5: Get a handle on the false cognates and false friends. The misuse of a word can make for a really bizarre conversation, and the mistaken assumption that you are not only a foreigner, but a total weirdo.

What are the best resources to accomplish this quickly and easily?

For those whose native language is American English, I recommend Portuguese in 10 minutes a day by Kristine Kershul. You can learn the sounds of the language, some basic phrases, and vocabulary. It is written in a Carioca accent, so just change the "sh" to "s" for other regions. Using this book, I caught up to a local Portuguese class for estrangeiros that had been in session for two and a half months ...in a mere 2 weeks! Everyone was amazed (and a wee bit jealous).

The most comprehensive vocabulary resource I have found is the Word by Word Illustrated Dictionary English/Brazilian Portuguese - Second Edition by Steven J. Molinsky & Bill Bliss. It is important to get the 2nd edition because they added common phrases and additional vocabulary words. Although there is no pocket edition, I carried this thing around everywhere during the first year that I was here. Don't be shy! Embrace your inner nerd.

As for the verbs, I recommend that you scour the internet for conjugation tables in English and Portuguese. You can also find conjugation tables in the dictionaries listed below. Verbs end in —ar, —er, or —ir, in the base and infinitive forms. Compare them, and focus on the following four forms of the verbs until you are more fluent. If, at that point, you feel that you can tackle the other 13 forms of the verbs, then more power to you! :)

The Present Continuous tense:

I am writing. = Eu estou escrevendo.

(English —ing = —ando, —endo or —indo in Portuguese.)


The Simple Present tense:

Do you like vegetables? = Você gosta de verduras?


The Simple Past tense:

She wrote an informative book. = Ela escreveu um livro informativo.


The Simple Future or Futuro do Presente tense:

We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. Or the medium way. Or the semi-medium-easy-hard way. Or the sort of hard, with a touch of awkward, easy-difficult-challenging way.

So that's how you want to play it, huh?

Me, too.

The easy way is a form of the future (futuro composto), which is closest to how we speak in English.

He is going to work tomorrow. = Ele vai trabalhar amanhã.

The harder version of the same thing means changing the end of the verb. That involves more memorization, which you could focus elsewhere... Here's an example of the same sentence in a more difficult version of the simple future form (Futuro do Presente do Indicativo):

Ele trabalhará amanha.

Just remember that everything begins and ends with a KISS ("um beijo") in Brazil, so...

Keep It Simple, Superstar!

Image found here.

It's your lucky day. The Dicionário Didático Básico by Edições SM is perfect for beginners. The best feature is the way the (7,000+) words are broken down phonetically in Brazilian Portuguese, with emphasis on the stressed syllable. The definitions are as simplified as they can get in the Portuguese language. (It's for kids.) As you progress to a more thorough understanding of basic Portuguese, graduate to the Dicionário Didático that has fewer pics, but over 43,000 additional definitions to add to your vocabulary.

False cognates and false friends (linguistically and personally speaking) are the bane of my existence. Yours, too. You'll be trying to tell people that you intend to do something, while you're really saying that you understand (entender) something... that makes absolutely no sense. Someone will tell you that they intend (pretender) to do something, and you'll wonder why they are planning on pretending to do something.

For this reason, it is so very worth it to pick up a copy of Inglês Urgente! Para Brasileiros by Cristina Schumacher. It has the most complete list of false cognates (in English and Portuguese) that I've seen, yet, and is a great addition to your arsenal of books to help you conquer Brazilian Portuguese as a second language.

Again, I'll reiterate that Portuguese in 10 minutes a day is the best solution for those that speak American English. If you speak British English, then the book Brazilian Portuguese by Sue Tyson-Ward, from the Teach Yourself series is a great resource. The phonetic base of any foreign language is key, and like Kristine Kershul, Ms. Tyson-Ward does it up right.

Just so you know, I am not being paid by any of these book publishers to promote their products. I simply hate to see anyone waste their time, money, and efforts in methods that do not work.

Boa sorte in your studies!

Five Facts For Foreigners - Vol. I

Here are 5 things this estrangeira [pronounced: "eh-strahn-zhay-duh" (fem.)] (foreigner) would have liked to have known before I arrived, so I wouldn't have seemed so... strange. Make a note of these cultural differences, and you'll benefit from blending in a lot easier – or at least, people will think this isn't your first time around the block.

1. You may have seen the traditional Brazilian Beijos [pronounced: Bay-zhoo/zhoh-z] (Kisses) when greeting others in Brazil. Please note that they are not actually planting one on the other person (unless they really, really like them – yes, like THAT)…
   
   They are supposed to be “kissing the air” next to the cheek of the person they are greeting. Men, please note that you are not to try this with other men here. Go for a handshake, unless you have the strong desire to reenact a scene from The Godfather. The customary greeting is one cheek-to-cheek kiss-in-the-air for each side (m+w, w+w, w+m). However, some states such as Goiás employ not two, but three, kisses. It varies region to region.
   
   
   This can also be an indicator as to just how much somebody may like you (or your spouse) if they indeed decide to plant one on you... or how much they may despise you, as I found out after being kissed repeatedly on the cheek with bright red lipstick, every time I ran into a certain woman at various parties around town. I finally asked her to kiss a napkin for me so that I could treasure it longer, and not have to lose her token of affection when I washed my face. She stopped.



2. There are no finger foods in Brazil. There are fork-&-knife foods and napkin-on-your-hand foods, but *finger foods as we know them (french fries, pizza slices, chicken nuggets) are frowned upon – and a dead giveaway that 'you're not from around here, are you?!'
   
   * Frogs' legs & chicken wings may be the exception – still, try to use a napkin (without ingesting any of it).




3. Restaurant tables have Salt & Toothpicks, not Salt & Pepper. Don't draw attention to yourself by shooting toothpicks all over your plate in the middle of the restaurant. All parties at the table will have a heart attack – especially you.
   



Not exactly what I was going for...

4. When doing anything where your name will be called out, do not be surprised when they call out your first & middle name, instead of your first & last name. If you've been hiding some fossilized familial 10th-generation middle moniker, you're busted. The upside is that it will be completely unrecognizable by any English-speaking pals (as it will be pronounced in accordance with Portuguese pronunciation). To keep the mystery alive, just tell your English-speaking buddies it's an alias you use when traveling.




5. You did not arrive mid-pandemic. "But people everywhere are sucking on Halls!” This is because Halls is sold as candy and/or breath freshener in Brazil. My only explanation is that there are no Starburst, Hot Tamales, Jolly Ranchers or Skittles in Brazil. All of you yummy candy manufacturers, this is an official plea to get that stuff to Brazil – Stat!

Marketed in the U.S. as soothing relief for coughs, sore throats & cooling nasal passages...

-VS-

Marketed in Brazil as 3 out of 5 on the freshness scale.

Stay tuned for more tips for tourists in Brazil...

All images found on Google.