Teaser Post

I hope you find this post sufficiently cryptic.

The blog isn't dead... merely hibernating... while I get my ducks in a row, my eyes (un)crossed, and my tease dotted — or something to that effect.

It is, after all, important to have as many backlinks to your site, as possible, in the "dot-com age." I have dubbed that action a Tease Dotted.

Rejoining e-civilization, I know I owe you an explanation. I present my duct-taped babies.

I hope that by now, my "brace" of little duckies has started its way up to a certain Texas port, though they could still very well be sitting on the Brazilian shore. It's a triathlon, of sorts, that anyone who has moved internationally is familiar with: they are all taped, numbered, weighed, and fit to [hopefully] complete the different legs of the journey.

In my duckies' case, they had an 9-story hustle to the moving truck, and (an alleged) one-day drive to São Paulo. Eventually, they will cross oceans and arrive in Houston, at which point they will be checked in ...and sent on their 3-hour journey by land to their resting/nesting place here with me.

How did I get here?

Well, that is as much of a long & winding tale, as it is a bobbing & weaving sort of thing, and will more than fill in the rest of the gaps, thus far, in this blog.

I have almost 7 years' worth of When in —ão (pronounced like the word "own") tips to pass on, and just in time for the World Cup & Olympics.

I won't leave you hanging.

Five Facts For Foreigners - Vol. VI

Here’s something to help you out as you try to keep up with what’s going on in the world during your stay. Newscasts have a slightly different take on the presentation, so here’s the 411 on the nature of daily news in Brazil.

1. Unlike American news broadcasts, it is not unusual to see footage of an accident that resulted in the death of someone (…or to see a body – though the face usually isn’t shown. A cop might strategically stand in front of the face, while the rest of the body is visible). All of the blood trails & smears filmed in HD are visible, however.
   
   Accidents caught on camera are played and replayed - no matter how graphic. This video shows how a pedestrian narrowly missed being hit with 2 cars... however, no one got killed.
   
   Even hostage situations involving police negotiators & snipers [taking out the bad guy] are shown on the news, as you can see in the video below. For proper dramatic effects, they are usually looped about 5 times in a row.

Warning! Graphic content! Police sniper kills criminal holding hostage.



2. The line-up of shame is something that is a little different than what we've seen on American newscasts. We usually only get a glimpse of a suspect in transfer, leaving a courthouse or entering the police station.
   
   Crooks that are caught in Brazil are lined up & photographed with any cache of drugs, weapons or other illegal paraphernalia that was seized when they were arrested. Sometimes the perpetrators try to hide their face with their shirts pulled up over their head, which never fails to remind me of a certain pair of delinquents.
   
   

   Image found on Google Images.

   Another tactic that some news crews use, is to drive alongside whichever patrol vehicle has the villains [always stuffed in the hatchback portion of the car] and film them in transit; which almost amounts to a high speed chase, as the cops drive very fast when they have a criminal in the car. It's interesting to watch.



3. People cry a lot in interviews – men and women alike. The more anguish and heart-rending devastation is shown, the more airtime that story will get. This can be quite disconcerting if you are unaccustomed to real-life despair, twice a day.
   
   Warning! Graphic & Disturbing Content! Mother arrives on scene after her son is killed in a shooting.



4. Everyone gets a title. If you want to give an interview on the evening news as a random person on the street, your street cred is required. If you are someone that doesn't work, you’ll be listed as such – "Dono" or "Dona de Casa" ("man or woman of the house"). Titles are everything here.
   
   Did I forget to mention that this is also a part of the 20 Questions played in Doctors’ offices (always repeated loudly, so that everyone knows exactly where you stand… in general)?
   



5. I’m not sure if male meteorologists exist in the world of Brazilian newscasts... Perhaps because they can’t quite keep the attention of their audience as well as their female counterparts? It begs further study.
   

Coming soon in the 5 Facts For Foreigners series...

• The Look: Hotels, Houses and Apartments


• Seen Out & About: Unique Looks & Trends


• Fun New Fishing Feats


• Surprises in the Supermarket

...and more...