These Boots Are Made For Gawkin'

So much for those people who say that Goiânia is a boot-scootin' cowboy capital...

This morning I went downtown to sign some papers with my husband. It was great to be out & about in this cooler weather. It's one of my favorite times of the year!

On the tail end of fall, we are almost upon the "coldest" time of the year. The lows are in the mid 50's and 60's, and the daily highs are in the 80's. Hey, that's cold to me these days, and I'm not ashamed to say it. It took me too long to get acclimated! I've earned every one of these goose bumps.

Winter will be here in June. The first third of the winter is pretty cold, although the last two months are the hottest of the year. June, the coldest month in Goiânia, gives us a brief taste of comfort before July, August, and September arrive with an oppressive heat.

We actually had an early set of cold fronts this year, starting the first week of May. Something that is a bit different for those of us from the northern hemisphere is that cold fronts come from the South.

Back in Texas, our cold fronts come from the North, and as such, are called "Northers." Hmmm... Does that make our cold fronts here in Goiás, "Southerns?"

"Sulistas?"

With the cool weather, I decided to wear my cute boots since I can never wear them any other time of the year, as it is either too hot or too wet.

You would've thought that I had a small animal strapped to my head — or one on each foot.

I was oblivious, at first, but finally noticed person after person looking at me. I wondered why. Do I really look that different? People usually assume that I'm from Southern Brazil, so I'm able to fly under the radar, more often than not.

What was the deal?

When we were leaving, I found out. My husband asked me if I'd seen the "hundred different people looking at my boots."

Me: "Was that it?"

My man: "Uh, yeah! Do you see anyone else in boots around here?"

Me: "I haven't noticed... It's the cool season — it's 68 degrees! I would expect to see some, that's for sure."

I suddenly recalled that every single time I ever saw a chick wearing boots here, it was at night.

Me: "Wait! Do people in Goiânia only wear boots at night?"

My Man: "Uh, yeah!"

Me: "That is the craziest thing I have ever heard. Well, at least I can claim that I'm bringing some international culture to the region."

Him, mumbling: "...and at least the Rodeo's in town." (It really is.)

When I got home I called my friend, D, to see what the deal is. She's one of those style mavens. I asked her if it's really true that chicks only wear boots at night in Goiânia. She said, "Unfortunately... yes, that's the way it is here."

She told me that she'd met a girl on a flight back from São Paulo last month, and they had discussed this very thing. She said that the ladies wear boots regularly in São Paulo, whereas here in Goiânia it's a fashion faux pas to do so if the sun is shining.

Men typically only wear boots if they are in the ranching or construction industries, but unlike women, they are not bound by the rising or setting of the sun. Styles vary according to their practical use.

I still maintain that this is one of the more bizarre things I've heard here.

...and why on earth didn't I know this? I've been here for almost 6 years. I have no excuse, but I do have Exhibit A of what not to do in broad daylight, in Goiânia.

Exhibit A

Happy Holiday!

Today is May 24th, which here in Goiânia is the day of "Nossa Senhora Auxiliadora," ["Mary Help of Christians"] the patron saint of Goiânia (which also happens to be the co-patron saint of Bagé and Niterói). This day is also referred to as, "another day off," by those who aren't quite sure what this day is about.


One of the cool things about living in Brazil is that there is always a holiday around the corner - or there was one just last week. If it's not a national holiday, it's a municipal holiday. Being a "predominately Catholic" country opens the door for even more "religious" holidays.

While Brazil boasts the largest number of Catholics in the world, Brazil also has the largest number of "lapsed Catholics" in the world. Of the Brazilian population, 68.4% are self-declared Catholics, yet only 20% of that cross section of the population attend Mass or participate in religious activities.

Some sociologists of religion contend that Catholicism in Brazil is more of a tradition, than a true practice of religion. The most commonly seen traditions are infant baptisms, appointed godparents, traditional church weddings, the use of religious necklaces (and/or other paraphernalia such as ornamental car accessories, etc.) and the ever popular act of crossing oneself (which you must have seen if you've ever watched a soccer game).

Although quite a few of these religious holidays translate into a day off (or two, if it falls on a Thursday) there are few who actually use that time for religious purposes. The majority of the population use the time off to party late into the night, travel, bar-b-que, or just catch up on R&R.


In my case, I used the time to surf the internet reading up on just why exactly it is that I have the day off, and looking for images of the perfect party cake. (Isn't the one below completely awesome? It seems like the ideal Unbirthday cake.)

Am I a big nerd? Do I not have a social life? Probably. But you see, I generally have to ask an average of 10+ people what the significance of a holiday is, and even if they do know the name, they might not be clear on the actual significance. I always feel a bit like I'm Jaywalking, and eventually somewhat like KiKi when she asks Bib,

"But what does it mean?"

And now we know. I dedicate my extra day off to you, the reader. No one will ever have to lose another May 24th in Goiânia, on research. As a reward, tomorrow I shall actually go out and do something.

All pics found on Google Images.

Cool Clip Art Reflecting Brazilian Culture

As most bloggers are aware, finding just the right visual is essential in giving the added emphasis to whatever point you are trying to get across. I have been searching for a specific artist's style in clip art, and finally thought to check the Microsoft Office Clip Art homepage. Not only did I find a few from the artist I was searching for, but to my surprise and delight, I found several designs that are inherently Brazilian.

Here are two that are common scenes from everyday life here in Brazil. I present the motoboy, and a guy talking on the Brazilian-styled payphone, or "orelhão" [literally translated, "the big ear"].




The "orelhão" [pronounced: "oh-rdeh-lyown"] was designed in 1970 by Chu Ming Silveira. His inspiration? The human ear. The design is still the same today, as it was then.


The motoboy keeps Brazil moving at the momentum it does. The backbone of the economy may well rest on the delivery guys, or "motoboys." (Yes, among other the English words, "boy" crept into the Brazilian Portuguese language.)


Pharmacies deliver medications to patients too sick (or sometimes too lazy, *ahem*) to go pick them up.

Run out of coke, beer, Red Bull, juice, or water? There's a local "Bebidas 24 Horas" [literally translated: "24-Hour Drinks"] that delivers near you!

Restaurants deliver what we might call a "boxed lunch," that is known here as a marmita [pronounced: "mar-mee-tuh"] on a regular schedule to their clients. (Choices are generally 3, 5 or 6 days a week.)

Apparently, the local McDonald's delivers, as well. Perhaps in English that would be considered a "Drive To," as opposed to a Drive-Thru.

Miss the novelty of a local butcher shop? How's this for a novel idea? Have 30 kilos of meat delivered on a moto.

Home security companies employ "motovigias" [pronounced: "moto-vee-zhee-uhs"] or security guards, who do their nightly rounds on motorcycles.

In lieu of a regular taxi car, it might be faster to hail a mototaxista [pronounced: "moto-tax-ee-stuh"]. They can weave in & out of the lanes of cars, which might get you there 10 minutes sooner. In addition, they may (or may not) be game to running red lights, which could shave a few more minutes off of your time - or a few years off of your life. It's your call.

All joking aside, more than 65,000 people have died in motorcycle accidents in Brazil, in the past 10 years - that's more than the number of Americans that have died in the Vietnam, Gulf, Iraq, and Afghanistan Wars combined! The Brazilian government is currently looking into additional safety measures and provisions for people in this industry.

Just this past February, Senator Marcelo Crivella proposed a wage increase of 30% for people in this field. This would allow for motoboys to buy better motorcycle helmets, protective gear, and help with any issues arising out of a potential accident - like the "extras" that aren't covered by insurance.

I spent over a year in physical therapy for a shoulder issue, and there was an undeniable link between motorcycle accidents, and the steady stream of patients. About 85% - 90% of the people in therapy were there due to motorcycle accidents.

Last July, President Dilma Rousseff took measures to promote safety in the industry. She sanctioned a law, also proposed by Senator Crivella, to issue a R$3,000 fine to any employer that encourages their employees to make speedy deliveries. If that has slowed down deliveries, I haven't noticed. Motoboys are just as efficient as ever, only now it appears they are valued more.

Unless otherwise noted, all pics found on Google images.

Phobias of the Creeping and Jumping Kind

Do you find this creature cute or terrifying?

I think it's cute! Personally, the only time I was a little apprehensive around these things is the time when I was stuck in a bathroom with 2 of these high-speed froggies, that were literally bouncing off the walls. They looked like a pair of super high bouncing balls. My only concern was what would happen if they accidentally landed in my hair. Would they get stuck? Would I unintentionally hurt one trying to free it from my hair?


Other than that, I find these creatures adorable. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I don't plan to be holdin' one any time soon! I appreciate that they catch mosquitoes & bugs, and provide entertainment for my kitty. (It gives her something to watch & do the kitty-twitch at...)


However, there are a lot of women here who hate these creatures, known as pererecas (tree frogs) and are terrified of them. Some women are so scared of these things, that they will run to the kitchen and grab salt to pour on them! :( Others demand that the nearest male catch and remove it from the premises.

I'm not sure why these bouncy little things are so vilified. I've asked if they are some unusual poisonous species, to which I've found out: no, they just lose out in the looks department.

Speaking of losing in the looks department, here's another creature that is sure to creep out the ladies. It is the common house gecko.


This albino gecko isn't much of a looker, that's for sure, but geckos catch & eat mosquitoes and other insects. Mosquitoes around these parts can carry the Dengue Fever virus. In my book, that makes the gecko my friend. A gecko a day, keeps the Dengue away.

What about you? Are you scared of these creepin' creatures, or like me, do you not pay them much attention?

What are your feelings on geckos and tree frogs?
	(squeals) Cute!!!
	(shrieks) Augh!! Someone help!
	(shrugs) I don't really notice them.
	(shivers) I can't even think about them.
	(smiles) I have one as a pet - wanna hold it?
	(sneers) Kill 'em all!
pollcode.com free polls

Five Facts For Foreigners - Vol. VI

Here’s something to help you out as you try to keep up with what’s going on in the world during your stay. Newscasts have a slightly different take on the presentation, so here’s the 411 on the nature of daily news in Brazil.

1. Unlike American news broadcasts, it is not unusual to see footage of an accident that resulted in the death of someone (…or to see a body – though the face usually isn’t shown. A cop might strategically stand in front of the face, while the rest of the body is visible). All of the blood trails & smears filmed in HD are visible, however.
   
   Accidents caught on camera are played and replayed - no matter how graphic. This video shows how a pedestrian narrowly missed being hit with 2 cars... however, no one got killed.
   
   Even hostage situations involving police negotiators & snipers [taking out the bad guy] are shown on the news, as you can see in the video below. For proper dramatic effects, they are usually looped about 5 times in a row.

Warning! Graphic content! Police sniper kills criminal holding hostage.



2. The line-up of shame is something that is a little different than what we've seen on American newscasts. We usually only get a glimpse of a suspect in transfer, leaving a courthouse or entering the police station.
   
   Crooks that are caught in Brazil are lined up & photographed with any cache of drugs, weapons or other illegal paraphernalia that was seized when they were arrested. Sometimes the perpetrators try to hide their face with their shirts pulled up over their head, which never fails to remind me of a certain pair of delinquents.
   
   

   Image found on Google Images.

   Another tactic that some news crews use, is to drive alongside whichever patrol vehicle has the villains [always stuffed in the hatchback portion of the car] and film them in transit; which almost amounts to a high speed chase, as the cops drive very fast when they have a criminal in the car. It's interesting to watch.



3. People cry a lot in interviews – men and women alike. The more anguish and heart-rending devastation is shown, the more airtime that story will get. This can be quite disconcerting if you are unaccustomed to real-life despair, twice a day.
   
   Warning! Graphic & Disturbing Content! Mother arrives on scene after her son is killed in a shooting.



4. Everyone gets a title. If you want to give an interview on the evening news as a random person on the street, your street cred is required. If you are someone that doesn't work, you’ll be listed as such – "Dono" or "Dona de Casa" ("man or woman of the house"). Titles are everything here.
   
   Did I forget to mention that this is also a part of the 20 Questions played in Doctors’ offices (always repeated loudly, so that everyone knows exactly where you stand… in general)?
   



5. I’m not sure if male meteorologists exist in the world of Brazilian newscasts... Perhaps because they can’t quite keep the attention of their audience as well as their female counterparts? It begs further study.
   

Coming soon in the 5 Facts For Foreigners series...

• The Look: Hotels, Houses and Apartments


• Seen Out & About: Unique Looks & Trends


• Fun New Fishing Feats


• Surprises in the Supermarket

...and more...

Five Facts For Foreigners - Vol. V

Just when I think I've listed all the insider's tips I can, I realize that on the contrary, it's just the tip of the iceberg. Here's the beef on Brazilian Bar-B-Que...

1. When I said there are no finger foods in Brazil, I forgot about traditional Bar-B-Que gatherings at home, or on the range (camping)... Perhaps what I should have said is that it's the reverse. Just think of everyday as "Opposite Day.” (That used to help me.) For example, where we would eat potato wedges with our fingers, here cuts of sirloin are sliced into bite-sized strips, and then passed around for you to grab one of them. For a place where finger foods are generally frowned upon, this took me aback quite a bit - especially since it's something we would probably frown on back home. Ha-ha! The quirkiness of cultural differences never fails to make me chuckle.



2. Another interesting point in this ritual that may seem quite different than what we are accustomed to, is that they aren't "passing the plate," as we know it. Everyone takes a turn serving the group, making the rounds like a waiter. If you haven't seen anyone else do it, don't worry: they're not putting you to work. That would just be awkward. Someone else will soon take their turn and bring by a fresh plate of sliced meat. At first I thought it's a regional thing, but I am told this is a common practice all over Brazil.
   



3. Just as you will have your turn(s) at playing waiter, you will also learn how to divvy up the meat the appropriate way. Picanha (Top Sirloin) is the hands-down favorite. Just don't make the mistake of cutting off the little piece of fat on the end because that is a major faux pas. Whoops... It is normally eaten along with the rest of the slice of meat. I personally nibble off the meat, and leave the little fatty stubs for the nearest dog or cat. :)
   
   

   Original image found here.



4. The menu for a traditional cook out or Bar-B-Que goes something along the lines of Beef, Chicken (hearts, thighs or legs), Pork or Chicken Sausage, and [sometimes] Goat that is served with white (garlicky) rice, beans, collard greens (made one of three popular ways), Vinagrete (similar to Pico de Gallo, with bell pepper substituted for the hot pepper) and Mandioca (Yucca Root) that has been cooked in a pressure cooker to a soft, steaming consistency.
   
   
   

   Image provided by Strayed from the Table.

   Accompanying most meals is a side of farinha or crunchy miniscule crumbs of toasted mandioca that some foreigners refer to as "sand." It can take some getting used to. Eating a pile of tiny dried crumbs atop any food, without getting any in your windpipe, is an acquired skill. I actually did inhale sand once on the playground, so I can attest to the similarity. (Exactly how this occurred is still a traumatic burning question of the past.) Moving on...



5. There is no Bar-B-Que sauce. Brazilian Bar-B-Que is seasoned with limejuice, salt & pepper or Rock Salt. If you are going to use limejuice, salt & pepper then you may want to marinate it for a few hours. If you go the rock salt route, then there is no need to marinate it - it will be too salty. The rock salt melts, as the meat is seared on the grill. Just watch out for any rogue pieces of rock salt that fall off into the fire. They explode & can become small, sizzling missiles that could potentially burn your skin and/or clothing.
   
   

   Image provided by Zack.

   If you must have some Bar-B-Que sauce with your Bar-B-Que then you might want to try one of the larger supermarkets that may have some imported BBQ sauce... or contact me. I know a certain Texas guy in Goiânia that makes the best Bar-B-Que sauce this side of the equator. (The other side, too!)

Coming Soon: The Gnarly Nature of Newscasts

Unless otherwise noted, all images found via Google Images.

Five Facts For Foreigners - Vol. III

Party Etiquette...

Party fouls are awkward. Miss Manners didn't have this playbook, that's for sure. Here are a few moves that might score you some points.

1. The protocol for arriving at and departing from a party is to personally greet and/or introduce yourself to all of the other guests. If you are going to a big party, and are an introvert like myself, you might want to arrive early so you only have to make the rounds once.
   
   I always feel a bit like a campaigning politician, as this is something [way] out of my personal comfort zone. If on the other hand, like Pink, you enjoy letting people know that you've officially arrived, and "now we are going to get this party started," then this is right up your alley. Same goes for the end of the party…
   
   Announcer: "Elvis has left the building."



2. Be it a restaurant or Bar-B-Que setting where everyone is seated at a long table of about 30 or more, you may find yourself in conversation with someone across the table or to your immediate left or right. Perhaps the person in the opposite direction is not interested in holding a conversation with you, but that’s not a problem as someone else is… right?
   
   As you can imagine, 30+ people will raise the volume a notch. This might prompt you to automatically lean into the engaging conversation you have found, which can result in a (previously-unknown-to-you) party foul. You absolutely may not turn in such a way as to cause someone else to have to look at your back – even if they could care less if you talk with them, or not. The back is bad.
   
   Note: I’m not talking about doing this for the entirety of the party. Even thirty seconds is frowned upon, and you may receive a “helpful” nudge on your shoulder, to get you properly aligned.
   
   People will also feel obliged to apologize to you if seating arrangements at, say, a cookout are such that they will be “giving you their back.” If you speak little to no Portuguese, this can seem to be a lot of ado over nothing.
   
   I have asked if this is such a big deal, why there aren’t more round tables circa King Arthur, but no one seems to think that is funny. (Except me, of course.) On the upside, I have perfected the art of amusing myself.




3. Children’s parties are fancier than in the U.S. - be sure you dress to the nines. Forget any children’s parties you may have seen in movies or real life, back home. Women, wear high heels & lots o’ bling. Think: New Year’s or Wedding party. Guys, clean up reeeeal good.



Image found here.


4. When people sing the Happy Birthday song, they clap loudly… More often than not, the entire restaurant will join in. Sometimes there are 5 birthday parties in the same restaurant, at the same time.
   
   While it can be fun enjoying the cultural differences in festivities and hearing the roar of 200+ people getting into it, it’s best not to lead. Feel free to join in, once you’re sure that your table is participating.




5. If you are attending a party with lots of balloons, be aware that if you stay until the end, there is a debatably thoughtful measure taken to make sure you are not too tired for the trip home. At least, that's what I’m guessing...
   
   Parties are generally done up right with bunches of balloons cascading around doorways and other areas of interest. Somewhere, at some point, some adult got creative in utilizing the help of the kids to pick up the party. They hand the most rambunctious children knives, forks, toothpicks or other pointy objects, and watch as they lay into the piles of balloons.
   
   If this is your first rodeo, it may cause you to spill whatever drink or plate of clothes-staining food you may be holding... raise up from your chair about 6 inches, inadvertently knocking someone else's drink or plate out of their hands... or even result in an accidental headbutt if you happen to be hugging someone on your way out, if no one has shown you the ropes. So there ya go. Warn anyone with a heart condition.

Missing a beat with these cultural protocols is a flashing neon sign that can inadvertently start you out on the wrong foot. Stick to these tips and you will not only blend seamlessly into the crowd, but you might also appear to be a natural – which is not only worth 10 cool points, but is priceless in the saving face dept.

All images found on Google.

Five Facts For Foreigners - Vol. II

Some additional pointers to keep you from being pointed out [or at]...

1. If you happen to be here for Christmas, be sure to get your beauty sleep during the two days & nights prior to Christmas Eve. The traditional Christmas “dinner” is served at midnight on Christmas Eve, with partying and games to follow...
   
   
   It's something along the lines of Thanksgiving Dinner + Christmas Office Party (White Elephant Gift Exchange) + Rockin' New Year’s Eve + any or all of the following: Karaoke, Bingo, Card Games, Dancing, Masquerades, More Eating... That's a general idea of the itinerary, but you never know what Papai Noel (Santa Claus) has up his sleeve.
   
   edit: I forgot about the fireworks... lots of fireworks!



2. When in Brazil, do yourself a favor and avoid our "A-Okay" gesture. (You know, the one that is completely innocuous in The States.) If inverted, it is worse than giving someone the middle finger... However, any semblance of this gesture may be frowned upon, so it's best to resort to the good ol' “thumbs up” which is used here for cool, great, thanks, good, super, go ahead, you rock, sure, okay, may I, etc.




3. United States citizens: [Americans] don't try to explain why our nationality isn't "North American". (...or why Greenlanders, Canadians, Mexicans, Belizeans, Costa Ricans, Salvadorans, Guatemalans, Hondurans, Nicaraguans, and Panamanians are all North Americans, too.)
   
   It's not that the geography classes are different here, it's that someone surmised at some point that United States citizens are pretentious elitists by laying claim to the term American, since there are 2 Americas: North & South...
   
   In actuality it is a political statement. What exactly that statement is alluding to remains to be seen. It's best just to refer to your state, to avoid unnecessary static... For example, I tell people I’m "Texan" (or "Tejana") – as opposed to saying American – because we could 'discuss' the finer points of geopolitical nonsense for hours on end, but who wants to do that on vacation, or otherwise?



4. "Bife" (pronounced "Bee-fee") does not mean "Beef," although it runs in the same circles. There is "Bife de..." Pork or whatever cut of Beef you desire. However, bovines are divided differently than in The States, so you might want some clarification from a local before you order.




What is Bife? It means "filet," although "filé" is only used with chicken ("filé de frango"), beef ("contra-filé" or "filé mignon") and fish (filé de merluza [Hake fish filet]) - and according to my hubby, never pork. Even though I know the name of certain cuts, I can still get it wrong on occasion.

For example, the other day I got the Bife de Lombo. "Lombo" is the cut of meat along the top of the pig's back. There is also a "Contra-filé de Lombão" (a cut of beef sirloin) but it got all muddled in my little brain. I momentarily forgot that "bife" does not equal "beef." Needless to say, not knowing if something is beef or pork can be the deciding factor in a recipe breaker. Oops.


5. Women: Here in Goiânia, the capital city of Goiás, there is no such thing as too much bling – be it at work, school, or out and about. Coming from the hippie capital city of Austin, Texas, it was quite a culture shock for me. (You Dallas ladies may fare better.)
   
   
   Dress like Morrissey meets Madonna: Everyday is Like Vogue, Vogue, Vogue, Vogue...

Next up: 5 Festa (Party) Facts For Foreigners

All images found on Google.

Five Facts For Foreigners - Vol. I

Here are 5 things this estrangeira [pronounced: "eh-strahn-zhay-duh" (fem.)] (foreigner) would have liked to have known before I arrived, so I wouldn't have seemed so... strange. Make a note of these cultural differences, and you'll benefit from blending in a lot easier – or at least, people will think this isn't your first time around the block.

1. You may have seen the traditional Brazilian Beijos [pronounced: Bay-zhoo/zhoh-z] (Kisses) when greeting others in Brazil. Please note that they are not actually planting one on the other person (unless they really, really like them – yes, like THAT)…
   
   They are supposed to be “kissing the air” next to the cheek of the person they are greeting. Men, please note that you are not to try this with other men here. Go for a handshake, unless you have the strong desire to reenact a scene from The Godfather. The customary greeting is one cheek-to-cheek kiss-in-the-air for each side (m+w, w+w, w+m). However, some states such as Goiás employ not two, but three, kisses. It varies region to region.
   
   
   This can also be an indicator as to just how much somebody may like you (or your spouse) if they indeed decide to plant one on you... or how much they may despise you, as I found out after being kissed repeatedly on the cheek with bright red lipstick, every time I ran into a certain woman at various parties around town. I finally asked her to kiss a napkin for me so that I could treasure it longer, and not have to lose her token of affection when I washed my face. She stopped.



2. There are no finger foods in Brazil. There are fork-&-knife foods and napkin-on-your-hand foods, but *finger foods as we know them (french fries, pizza slices, chicken nuggets) are frowned upon – and a dead giveaway that 'you're not from around here, are you?!'
   
   * Frogs' legs & chicken wings may be the exception – still, try to use a napkin (without ingesting any of it).




3. Restaurant tables have Salt & Toothpicks, not Salt & Pepper. Don't draw attention to yourself by shooting toothpicks all over your plate in the middle of the restaurant. All parties at the table will have a heart attack – especially you.
   



Not exactly what I was going for...

4. When doing anything where your name will be called out, do not be surprised when they call out your first & middle name, instead of your first & last name. If you've been hiding some fossilized familial 10th-generation middle moniker, you're busted. The upside is that it will be completely unrecognizable by any English-speaking pals (as it will be pronounced in accordance with Portuguese pronunciation). To keep the mystery alive, just tell your English-speaking buddies it's an alias you use when traveling.




5. You did not arrive mid-pandemic. "But people everywhere are sucking on Halls!” This is because Halls is sold as candy and/or breath freshener in Brazil. My only explanation is that there are no Starburst, Hot Tamales, Jolly Ranchers or Skittles in Brazil. All of you yummy candy manufacturers, this is an official plea to get that stuff to Brazil – Stat!

Marketed in the U.S. as soothing relief for coughs, sore throats & cooling nasal passages...

-VS-

Marketed in Brazil as 3 out of 5 on the freshness scale.

Stay tuned for more tips for tourists in Brazil...

All images found on Google.

Attention Texans: Leave the Longhorns at Home

Ah, culture...

Sometimes we take for granted that what is celebrated in our culture might not be reviled in another. You might be wondering if you missed something. How could that have anything to do with Longhorns? I know...

That's how I felt when I arrived with all of my Longhorn apparel that reminded me of my home state. Longhorns are just cool, right? We can do the Longhorn hand gesture that could possibly double for "rock on." They look fierce on the front of a Cadillac... or SUV. Who wouldn't appreciate Longhorns?

Apparently a good portion of Central, South and the southernmost North American countries. Hmm... What kind of crazy talk is that? Why were people giving me dirty looks and/or snickering whenever I stepped outside of my home showing UT Longhorn spirit?

Okay, here's my true confession that my brother-in-law refuses to accept to this day: I'm not, in actuality, exclusively a Longhorn fan. There, I said it. I also root for A&M, the Rice Owls (btw: that was a cute trick with the whole designing the UT Tower to look like an owl, from any angle, thing) and pretty much any other Texas college or University... I'm true to Texas, in general - not only to the University of Texas.

Living in Austin, UT paraphernalia was just much easier to come by. Plus, Longhorns can be seen pretty much anywhere. Any big company on a large plot of land has at least 3 Longhorns munching grass on the front property, so that they can fall into a more forgiving tax bracket. Longhorns are inherently a part of Texas culture.

This is what I had in mind when making purchases of things that would remind me of home, before I made the big jump. This is also something that my husband conveniently forgot to mention before we arrived here, with my arsenal of Longhorn-themed home comforts. (I'm so glad that I didn't spring for any of the Longhorn throws or pillows...)

I know that the UT Longhorn fans are waiting for the punchline. Well, it's not funny - that's for sure. Apparently HORNS ("Chifres") are a big, shameful deal in this culture. It took me awhile to get my head around it, but it is said here that if someone cheats on you, then you'll "grow horns" or "get the horns," etc. Ex: "O marido dela é um chifrudo." ["Her husband has huge horns (is a cuckold)."] I know. Didn't make sense to me, either...

See this link for more UT attire.

I tried asking around to determine if there was any logic to this - to make sense of, and to try to determine the origin of this idiom. No one seemed to know. Some hypothesized that it was a reference to bovine mating behavior, but that still didn't explain how it entered the city-folk lingo. There was more to it than that.

After some research, I discovered that it went back to the Spanish King Felipe III. It is of legal origin. When the King of Portugal died and left no successor in 1578, the Spanish King Felipe II (known as Filipe I of Portugal) seized the opportunity to claim the throne in Lisbon for himself.  For a period of 60 years (1580 to 1640) Spain and Portugal were united under his royal family's rule (which is why this particular cultural phenomenon is also seen throughout Central, South & southernmost North America in the other countries colonized by the Spanish).

In 1603, the Ordenações Filipinas, or Filipine Code, was published at the request of King Felipe III of Spain (known as Filipe II of Portugal). The Filipine Code stated explicitly that the "offended" husband who caught his wife in adultery (so long as the offender was not a "Noble") should kill his enemy. If it was indeed your prerogative to kill, as the wronged man of the house, you must wear a hat-like thing decorated with two horns for the public to recognize you as a man whose marriage [manhood] was not "honored" (so that they would not try to prevent you from taking just measure). 

Perhaps Filipe II had a fascination with the Nordic Bronze Age? It is interesting that when the offending party was a Noble, the cuckolded husband could do nothing. You know, I'm glad that our modern definition of "noble," is something that must be linked to morals.

So this is why the stigma of "horns" is correlated to someone cheating on someone ...to this day!

chifrudo
De chifre + udo.
[of horns] + augmentative (pejorative)

Adjetivo masculino

[Masculine Adjective]

1. que tem chifres [that which has horns]
   Ex: bode chifrudo [a horned goat]
2. (Popular) diz se daquele que é traído pela esposa ou namorada
   [slang term for whoever is cheated on by their wife or girlfriend]

Substantivo masculino
[Masculine Noun]

1. o que tem chifres [that which has horns]
2. (Popular) homem que é traído pela esposa ou namorada
   [slang term for a man who is cheated on by their wife or girlfriend]

(hat found at Hats For All Occasions)

Unfortunately, now I'm relegated to wearing my UT Longhorn logo-only earrings, flip-flops & T-shirts when I am going to be around other Americans. Otherwise, people think I am demented. I can occasionally get away with wearing a T-shirt that includes the word "Texas" or the word "Longhorns" written out, in addition to the horns, (so people know it's probably nothing to do with Brazilian stigmas...) but that doesn't stop the snickering because they think the estrangeira, or foreign woman, doesn't know what it signifies here. I just pretend I don't.

image found here.

Any other Texas-themed gifts are welcomed with open arms.

Attune to Prunes

Remember the 5 things you might think of when you hear the word Brazil? Now you can add another aspect: prunes.

I'm not sure why prunes are so reviled in American culture, or so revered in Brazilian culture. Perhaps if prunes had the marketing that the California Raisins did, it would be a different story in the U.S. today.

Coming from a place where a good portion of people aren't even aware that prunes are dried plums - to somewhere that has prune yogurt, ice cream and cake has been a real adjustment. Pretty much anything that we have in the U.S. that would be available in cinnamon flavor, is available in Brazil in prune flavor. Prune-flavored gum would not shock me. I don't know if it exists, but I’m sure it is only a matter of time.

Prunes are added to otherwise normal food here, too... I'm talking chicken dishes, pizza... I may have even chanced upon prunes in lasagna once. I can't talk about it, though. It pushed me over the edge.

The "olho-de-sogra" or "mother-in-law's eye" is a popular treat at Brazilian parties. It is made with prunes and coconut filling, garnished with a clove. It truly looks like a plate of eyes staring at you. The symbolism of your mother-in-law... watching you... from every angle... is both horrifying and hilarious. Oh, and it's a bunch of prunes. More prunes...

Don't get me wrong: I think prunes (by themselves) are a healthy dried fruit snack, not just for old people or toddlers as seen by the American culture, and not to be used in place of salt or sugar as it seems to be, in the Brazilian culture. They have their place, and I’m hoping it is found between the two extremes of American and Brazilian cultures...

Anyone from anywhere else have a good example of a happy medium? I'd love to hear it.

All images found on Google

Cultural Quirks and Perks - Vol. I

Figuring out what makes a culture tick can be tough. It is more than likely you will inadvertently offend people on a regular basis, until you are able to get in the groove of things. Likewise, you might find yourself offended if unaware of regional protocols. This is part of the growing experience. Try to be flexible - it will be less painful.


Then again, you might just find yourself laughing until you can't breathe... perhaps in the sorting of mixed signals, or at something as simple as a refreshingly realistic, but different, approach to things.


One such example is the name for what we know as "Party Blowers" in American English. In Brazil, they are known by the name: "língua-de-sogra" (pronounced "leen-goo-uh... jee... s-oh-gruh") or "Tongue of the Mother-in-Law".


Ingenious! It's both fun and educational. At least kids know what they will be getting into, at some point in the future.

The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.

~ William Arthur Ward

All images found on Google