We all know that people come from different backgrounds. Our individual viewpoint is formed by several factors that include upbringing (which can determine our sense morals and cultural identity)... socioeconomic factors (which can affect our education options and range of potential experiences)... and our unique temperament (which is a filter on how we see the world). All help to shape who we are - and how we will live & relate in this life.
As I’ve mentioned before, I write from an American viewpoint - specifically that of a female... Austinite... Texan and tomboy. I measure things in feet and inches, judge weight by pounds and ounces, and relate distance in miles. For these reasons, I have thoughtfully placed a conversion widget for your convenience at the bottom of the page.
I write from my handful of experiences thus far. I am a jack of all trades, and master of none. I have a certain array of skill sets that, while valued back home in Texas... are not only useless, but regarded with disdain in the culture in which I now live. This is due to my individual choices in life, and while I’m okay with that, it occasionally accentuates the homesickness I feel.
At a young age I determined to ‘never need a man,’ and spent my time investing in a nice assortment of tools and know-how. Here I was forced to retire my tools, keep my know-how on the DL, and learn what it means to be "a lady.”
In this region of Brazil social functions are usually divided into two sides: the men and the women. The men talk about business, cars, fishing and sports, while the women tend to discuss certain novelas and/or fashion related topics. If they have kids, the women will discuss the finer points of whichever theme they are considering for their child's upcoming birthday bash. Needless to say, I tend to gravitate towards the conversations of the males, as the go-to topics for females bore me stiff.
Although I am now aware of some of cultural protocols that enable me to fly under the radar, I still get made for someone who’s not from around here, due to certain personal preferences. Some things we can change, some things we choose not to. Some things we have absolutely no control over: like how a culture may see a woman that doesn't conform to the accepted
padrão [
standard,
model].
It's not like I am leading a one-woman revolution... I just don't have the strength to pretend to be something I'm not. I don’t blowout my hair – I wear it naturally, which means wavy. I avoid high heels at all costs. I don't do lace or bows. (Not only is it nearly impossible to find clothing for a grown tomboy in the city that I now call home - there isn't even a true translation for it). I can count the number of times I've worn a skirt in the past 5 years on one hand (
well, 3 fingers). I prefer watching a sports event to watching a
novela (
or discussing one). I’d prefer to take an arrow to the knee, than to have to go to the salon.
I’d also rather go hang out on some campsite along a river than to stay back in town “with the women”… Do I like being the only woman in camp? No way. (That’s usually seen as volunteering to be the cook – which normally turns out to be a huge disappointment for someone else.) Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find a female friend that can hang.
The fact that my husband accepts me & loves me for who I am is a blessing – with an
ata on top. There have been more than a few times that he chose to bring me on an otherwise all-guys fishing trip, to the surprise and chagrin of his friends, rather than leaving me to suffocate in our urban high-rise. I honestly try to not to rock the boat, so to speak, but chauvinism is no friend of mine. I miss the inclusive social structure of the U.S. We mingle. We work & play together - at least, back in central Texas.
As a young adult I typically worked in fields that were predominantly all male. I have worked for various companies where I've been the only female outside of the office, but I was seen as a liaison rather than a liability. My friends and family back home never thought twice about it. The fact that I could change a flat or hang a ceiling fan was a running joke at the weekly ladies' Bible studies, but they never looked down on me or shied away from me.
Here... I just don't bring it up (it's one of those DL-things). However, every now and then something might accidentally slip out that makes someone look at me for a minute as they ponder on what exactly I just said. ("Watch it! That plug is not grounded!" or "Wow! Feel the horsepower in this thing?!") ...but it's usually attributed to the fact that maybe I don't speak Portuguese too well. (
"She can't have meant that!" or
"That crazy Americana is babbling again...")
Truthfully, I have made some changes voluntarily, just to minimize the overwhelming effect the local Brazilian females can have on a man (
and each other -
just ask the local hairdresser). Goiânia is infamous for the ratio of 6 females to every 1 male, and boasts the most attractive Brasileiras (oozing their femininity) in the country. I can't confirm or deny this, as I haven't been all over the entire country, but from what I’ve seen it has inspired me to be a tad more feminine. (More on that later...)
Just as I’ve not yet made it to every area in Brazil, neither have I been to every area in my home country. I've been to 11 of the 48 continental states, and on almost every side of my home state, with the exception of West Texas.
I hear the speed limit is awesome there.
That said, what I write is simply observations based on my point of view. I remember as a 5-year-old kid, the world looked amazing when seen through a
prism… I’d walk around for days on end looking through that thing, no matter how many near misses I had with a wall or flight of steps. These days, I call it as I see it sans prisms, in accordance with the
Laughter Is The Best Policy ...uh, policy.
I try to keep in mind that most females, even those back in my home country and state, probably won't share my affinity for old cars, the smell of the grease-oil-gasoline mix that comes from a long day in the garage –
even if it’s only observing & admiring the work of someone mechanically inclined, the intoxicating smell of freshly cut grass from weed eating and mowing the yard, or the buzz that one gets after a successful home improvement project comes to fruition.
The thing is, I wasn't as much of a rare breed back home, as I am a potential sideshow freak here (were I really able to get to do what I love). Living in a 100% concrete high-rise helps to keep me in check, as there is simply less to do, but hopefully we will move into a house by the end of the year, so that I can get back to my roots (literally). I told my husband that I will take care of the yard.
Since all of the houses have a high wall surrounding the property, no one has to be the wiser. ;)