Five Facts For Foreigners - Vol. II

Some additional pointers to keep you from being pointed out [or at]...

1. If you happen to be here for Christmas, be sure to get your beauty sleep during the two days & nights prior to Christmas Eve. The traditional Christmas “dinner” is served at midnight on Christmas Eve, with partying and games to follow...
   
   
   It's something along the lines of Thanksgiving Dinner + Christmas Office Party (White Elephant Gift Exchange) + Rockin' New Year’s Eve + any or all of the following: Karaoke, Bingo, Card Games, Dancing, Masquerades, More Eating... That's a general idea of the itinerary, but you never know what Papai Noel (Santa Claus) has up his sleeve.
   
   edit: I forgot about the fireworks... lots of fireworks!



2. When in Brazil, do yourself a favor and avoid our "A-Okay" gesture. (You know, the one that is completely innocuous in The States.) If inverted, it is worse than giving someone the middle finger... However, any semblance of this gesture may be frowned upon, so it's best to resort to the good ol' “thumbs up” which is used here for cool, great, thanks, good, super, go ahead, you rock, sure, okay, may I, etc.




3. United States citizens: [Americans] don't try to explain why our nationality isn't "North American". (...or why Greenlanders, Canadians, Mexicans, Belizeans, Costa Ricans, Salvadorans, Guatemalans, Hondurans, Nicaraguans, and Panamanians are all North Americans, too.)
   
   It's not that the geography classes are different here, it's that someone surmised at some point that United States citizens are pretentious elitists by laying claim to the term American, since there are 2 Americas: North & South...
   
   In actuality it is a political statement. What exactly that statement is alluding to remains to be seen. It's best just to refer to your state, to avoid unnecessary static... For example, I tell people I’m "Texan" (or "Tejana") – as opposed to saying American – because we could 'discuss' the finer points of geopolitical nonsense for hours on end, but who wants to do that on vacation, or otherwise?



4. "Bife" (pronounced "Bee-fee") does not mean "Beef," although it runs in the same circles. There is "Bife de..." Pork or whatever cut of Beef you desire. However, bovines are divided differently than in The States, so you might want some clarification from a local before you order.




What is Bife? It means "filet," although "filé" is only used with chicken ("filé de frango"), beef ("contra-filé" or "filé mignon") and fish (filé de merluza [Hake fish filet]) - and according to my hubby, never pork. Even though I know the name of certain cuts, I can still get it wrong on occasion.

For example, the other day I got the Bife de Lombo. "Lombo" is the cut of meat along the top of the pig's back. There is also a "Contra-filé de Lombão" (a cut of beef sirloin) but it got all muddled in my little brain. I momentarily forgot that "bife" does not equal "beef." Needless to say, not knowing if something is beef or pork can be the deciding factor in a recipe breaker. Oops.


5. Women: Here in Goiânia, the capital city of Goiás, there is no such thing as too much bling – be it at work, school, or out and about. Coming from the hippie capital city of Austin, Texas, it was quite a culture shock for me. (You Dallas ladies may fare better.)
   
   
   Dress like Morrissey meets Madonna: Everyday is Like Vogue, Vogue, Vogue, Vogue...

Next up: 5 Festa (Party) Facts For Foreigners

All images found on Google.

Five Facts For Foreigners - Vol. I

Here are 5 things this estrangeira [pronounced: "eh-strahn-zhay-duh" (fem.)] (foreigner) would have liked to have known before I arrived, so I wouldn't have seemed so... strange. Make a note of these cultural differences, and you'll benefit from blending in a lot easier – or at least, people will think this isn't your first time around the block.

1. You may have seen the traditional Brazilian Beijos [pronounced: Bay-zhoo/zhoh-z] (Kisses) when greeting others in Brazil. Please note that they are not actually planting one on the other person (unless they really, really like them – yes, like THAT)…
   
   They are supposed to be “kissing the air” next to the cheek of the person they are greeting. Men, please note that you are not to try this with other men here. Go for a handshake, unless you have the strong desire to reenact a scene from The Godfather. The customary greeting is one cheek-to-cheek kiss-in-the-air for each side (m+w, w+w, w+m). However, some states such as Goiás employ not two, but three, kisses. It varies region to region.
   
   
   This can also be an indicator as to just how much somebody may like you (or your spouse) if they indeed decide to plant one on you... or how much they may despise you, as I found out after being kissed repeatedly on the cheek with bright red lipstick, every time I ran into a certain woman at various parties around town. I finally asked her to kiss a napkin for me so that I could treasure it longer, and not have to lose her token of affection when I washed my face. She stopped.



2. There are no finger foods in Brazil. There are fork-&-knife foods and napkin-on-your-hand foods, but *finger foods as we know them (french fries, pizza slices, chicken nuggets) are frowned upon – and a dead giveaway that 'you're not from around here, are you?!'
   
   * Frogs' legs & chicken wings may be the exception – still, try to use a napkin (without ingesting any of it).




3. Restaurant tables have Salt & Toothpicks, not Salt & Pepper. Don't draw attention to yourself by shooting toothpicks all over your plate in the middle of the restaurant. All parties at the table will have a heart attack – especially you.
   



Not exactly what I was going for...

4. When doing anything where your name will be called out, do not be surprised when they call out your first & middle name, instead of your first & last name. If you've been hiding some fossilized familial 10th-generation middle moniker, you're busted. The upside is that it will be completely unrecognizable by any English-speaking pals (as it will be pronounced in accordance with Portuguese pronunciation). To keep the mystery alive, just tell your English-speaking buddies it's an alias you use when traveling.




5. You did not arrive mid-pandemic. "But people everywhere are sucking on Halls!” This is because Halls is sold as candy and/or breath freshener in Brazil. My only explanation is that there are no Starburst, Hot Tamales, Jolly Ranchers or Skittles in Brazil. All of you yummy candy manufacturers, this is an official plea to get that stuff to Brazil – Stat!

Marketed in the U.S. as soothing relief for coughs, sore throats & cooling nasal passages...

-VS-

Marketed in Brazil as 3 out of 5 on the freshness scale.

Stay tuned for more tips for tourists in Brazil...

All images found on Google.

Attention Texans: Leave the Longhorns at Home

Ah, culture...

Sometimes we take for granted that what is celebrated in our culture might not be reviled in another. You might be wondering if you missed something. How could that have anything to do with Longhorns? I know...

That's how I felt when I arrived with all of my Longhorn apparel that reminded me of my home state. Longhorns are just cool, right? We can do the Longhorn hand gesture that could possibly double for "rock on." They look fierce on the front of a Cadillac... or SUV. Who wouldn't appreciate Longhorns?

Apparently a good portion of Central, South and the southernmost North American countries. Hmm... What kind of crazy talk is that? Why were people giving me dirty looks and/or snickering whenever I stepped outside of my home showing UT Longhorn spirit?

Okay, here's my true confession that my brother-in-law refuses to accept to this day: I'm not, in actuality, exclusively a Longhorn fan. There, I said it. I also root for A&M, the Rice Owls (btw: that was a cute trick with the whole designing the UT Tower to look like an owl, from any angle, thing) and pretty much any other Texas college or University... I'm true to Texas, in general - not only to the University of Texas.

Living in Austin, UT paraphernalia was just much easier to come by. Plus, Longhorns can be seen pretty much anywhere. Any big company on a large plot of land has at least 3 Longhorns munching grass on the front property, so that they can fall into a more forgiving tax bracket. Longhorns are inherently a part of Texas culture.

This is what I had in mind when making purchases of things that would remind me of home, before I made the big jump. This is also something that my husband conveniently forgot to mention before we arrived here, with my arsenal of Longhorn-themed home comforts. (I'm so glad that I didn't spring for any of the Longhorn throws or pillows...)

I know that the UT Longhorn fans are waiting for the punchline. Well, it's not funny - that's for sure. Apparently HORNS ("Chifres") are a big, shameful deal in this culture. It took me awhile to get my head around it, but it is said here that if someone cheats on you, then you'll "grow horns" or "get the horns," etc. Ex: "O marido dela é um chifrudo." ["Her husband has huge horns (is a cuckold)."] I know. Didn't make sense to me, either...

See this link for more UT attire.

I tried asking around to determine if there was any logic to this - to make sense of, and to try to determine the origin of this idiom. No one seemed to know. Some hypothesized that it was a reference to bovine mating behavior, but that still didn't explain how it entered the city-folk lingo. There was more to it than that.

After some research, I discovered that it went back to the Spanish King Felipe III. It is of legal origin. When the King of Portugal died and left no successor in 1578, the Spanish King Felipe II (known as Filipe I of Portugal) seized the opportunity to claim the throne in Lisbon for himself.  For a period of 60 years (1580 to 1640) Spain and Portugal were united under his royal family's rule (which is why this particular cultural phenomenon is also seen throughout Central, South & southernmost North America in the other countries colonized by the Spanish).

In 1603, the Ordenações Filipinas, or Filipine Code, was published at the request of King Felipe III of Spain (known as Filipe II of Portugal). The Filipine Code stated explicitly that the "offended" husband who caught his wife in adultery (so long as the offender was not a "Noble") should kill his enemy. If it was indeed your prerogative to kill, as the wronged man of the house, you must wear a hat-like thing decorated with two horns for the public to recognize you as a man whose marriage [manhood] was not "honored" (so that they would not try to prevent you from taking just measure). 

Perhaps Filipe II had a fascination with the Nordic Bronze Age? It is interesting that when the offending party was a Noble, the cuckolded husband could do nothing. You know, I'm glad that our modern definition of "noble," is something that must be linked to morals.

So this is why the stigma of "horns" is correlated to someone cheating on someone ...to this day!

chifrudo
De chifre + udo.
[of horns] + augmentative (pejorative)

Adjetivo masculino

[Masculine Adjective]

1. que tem chifres [that which has horns]
   Ex: bode chifrudo [a horned goat]
2. (Popular) diz se daquele que é traído pela esposa ou namorada
   [slang term for whoever is cheated on by their wife or girlfriend]

Substantivo masculino
[Masculine Noun]

1. o que tem chifres [that which has horns]
2. (Popular) homem que é traído pela esposa ou namorada
   [slang term for a man who is cheated on by their wife or girlfriend]

(hat found at Hats For All Occasions)

Unfortunately, now I'm relegated to wearing my UT Longhorn logo-only earrings, flip-flops & T-shirts when I am going to be around other Americans. Otherwise, people think I am demented. I can occasionally get away with wearing a T-shirt that includes the word "Texas" or the word "Longhorns" written out, in addition to the horns, (so people know it's probably nothing to do with Brazilian stigmas...) but that doesn't stop the snickering because they think the estrangeira, or foreign woman, doesn't know what it signifies here. I just pretend I don't.

image found here.

Any other Texas-themed gifts are welcomed with open arms.